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#1 lilacday

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Posted 26 April 2010 - 08:46 AM

Just when you think you have them all sussed out, you learn something new!

I am learning that it is no big deal (in their minds) to remember to tell your friend something and suddenly text them in the middle of the night, or you could be passing near someones 'yard' and ask to come round and chill when the rest of the household is in pyjamas and ready to crash out for the night!!

I guess every family will have different boundaries and rules which will suit them and according to what they believe God is saying to them (if believers), and us as parents have to make those boundaries.(but also decide what we can be abit flexible on - considering their time in life- remembering when we were that age always helps!!)

This weekend was abit of a first, that a young man should be passing our place just before 11pm (although he said he thought it was earlier) and want to 'hang out' with our daughter as he didnt want to quite go home yet. (i must add that he is a school friend and they know each other very well). By this time my daughter had her pijamas on(whcih could pass for a tracksuit) and went outside to talk to her friend. I started to panic and pray!! why would he want to come round for? is he drunk? on drugs? does he like our daughter? what do you mean just hang out?........but in the end decided

1. It was safer for them to be indoors than outside

2. If the boy had had abit to drink i could assess the situation and maybe make sure he got home safe

3. Its good not to make a big deal about our kids having freindships with the opposite sex and to make sure they know and learn for themselves how to put in place boundaries within the christian guidelines we have taught them.

4. If that was my day and age, we were never allowed to bring boys home even as friends or have them ring us that was unthinkable (but we found away to communicate with boys anyway!) so being open is much better

5. To have trust and communication with our kids but laying down reasonable loving boundaries and discipline that can be talked about openly

so in they came and had a cup of tea, but i started to panic again when my daughter offered to put a football game on for him (as in 'how long is he planning to stay!') so i sat with them for a while till the boy was so nervous he said he had to leave!!

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#2 Debp

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Posted 26 April 2010 - 07:46 PM

Sounds like you handled it very well, Lilacday! Especially loved the part where you sat with them for awhile and the guy got so nervous he had to leave! :D
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#3 lilacday

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Posted 27 April 2010 - 02:36 AM

Sounds like you handled it very well, Lilacday! Especially loved the part where you sat with them for awhile and the guy got so nervous he had to leave! :D


Probably could have handled it better, but it does sound funny doesnt it!! :flowers:

Would anyone else like to share your parenting funny stories? or teenagers, do your parents make you laugh (or cry!) sometimes with the way they handle things?? would love to hear your stories
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#4 Debp

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Posted 27 April 2010 - 08:24 PM

Some funny stories from parents or kids would be great!
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#5 lilacday

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Posted 18 June 2010 - 10:23 AM

ok, so i mentioned above that teenagers may have no context of time and would phone or text from their beds sometimes, well then they can find out they owe lots of money on their phones because they could not keep it breif, ok so another painful lesson learned . Recently this happened in our household (and i must give all the glory to God who so graciously prepared us) but the really funny story to come out of it (although we felt like crying at the time) is, we as parents of course checked out the whole phone bill to see if there was an overcharge or who was on the other end of the line that was so important...well one of the numbers turns out to be a young man that is interested and of course the interest is not just on his part, so my daughter took precautions to warn all concerned and gave them my husbands no. so if he rang (which he had threatened to do)they should not answer the call. Well the young man must have thought that this is my daughters new contact no. and texted my husband saying 'so, we still on for today babe'..........owch :w00t:

also my nine year old daughter on the way to school commented 'oh my goodness, she went over (x..... number of minuits) the limit????, that is (x......) hours, how can anyone talk for that long? no one ever phones me!! sweet sweet childhood

In the midst of this though, although hard lessons were learned, I must emphasise that God bought such good out of the whole situation, because we have been able to talk about lots of issues that may not have been otherwise covered so thoroughly
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#6 lilacday

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Posted 24 July 2010 - 03:42 PM

Don't take it personally if young teens don't want to spend that much time with you. This can be hard, especially when in childhood they have been close and when its the first one and they suddenly have a new set of 'cool' friends that they would rather listen to than their parents. Some of it is very natural, they are growing up, there are hormonal changes, they are dealing sometimes with new emotions that they dont understand themselves and they are learning that they can have opinions that are different from ours and they can seem to test our authority. They are looking to find their identity and where they fit in.

Our prayers at this point are so vital. That God would lead and guide them. That He would put good friends around them to encourage them in right ways. To keep them safe as they test out new avenues, even sometimes things that we would not approve of and most of all pray for love, to love them in all their awkwardness, love when you feel like rolling your eyes up to heaven. Love and the reward will come back later and will be worth every tear and every prayer.
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#7 Debp

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Posted 24 July 2010 - 05:28 PM

Don't take it personally if young teens don't want to spend that much time with you. This can be hard, especially when in childhood they have been close and when its the first one and they suddenly have a new set of 'cool' friends that they would rather listen to than their parents. Some of it is very natural, they are growing up, there are hormonal changes, they are dealing sometimes with new emotions that they dont understand themselves and they are learning that they can have opinions that are different from ours and they can seem to test our authority. They are looking to find their identity and where they fit in.

Our prayers at this point are so vital. That God would lead and guide them. That He would put good friends around them to encourage them in right ways. To keep them safe as they test out new avenues, even sometimes things that we would not approve of and most of all pray for love, to love them in all their awkwardness, love when you feel like rolling your eyes up to heaven. Love and the reward will come back later and will be worth every tear and every prayer.


A couple weeks ago I was riding the free shuttle van home from the market. The driver and the other lone passenger (a woman) were talking the whole way in Spanish to each other. As we turned on to my street, suddenly the passenger turned around and started telling me about her son who was 17 and the driver also had a son the same age.

The passenger lady was telling me she felt so badly that her son didn't have much time to spend with her anymore....she was quite emotional about this. I asked if he was getting into trouble....she said "no." Then I asked if they had a church home together....she said "no." I did tell her about the good Baptist church nearby with youth activities, to help the kids stay out of trouble...also told her that Jesus would help her, and for her to pray for her son.

I had to do all of this in a couple of minutes as the van was in front of my house. The lady thanked me and was practically in tears. It's amazing how God will open a door like that so suddenly.
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#8 lilacday

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Posted 25 July 2010 - 05:32 PM

Thats lovely how God made that opportunity, and that lady sounds like she was encouraged :flowers:
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#9 steph12

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Posted 26 July 2010 - 01:40 AM

Although I have a long way to go, Im scared already!! That situation would have freaked me out, but you seem to be very calm. I bought a bible( because I was tired looking online for verses) and my 3 yr old daughter asks what it was. I told her it was about Jesus and I asked her, Do you like Jesus? "No, I dont like Jesus." I cant say that I was shocked, she really doesnt know anything yet, but when I picked up the bible and told her that I liked Jesus..."Me too! Mommy, I like Jesus too!" I just realized that at this time in her life, Iam her biggest influence and thats scary. I cant imagine when she gets older and has friends...wow, it was that long ago for me...Im not looking forward to that at all.
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#10 Debp

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Posted 26 July 2010 - 09:48 PM

Although I have a long way to go, Im scared already!! That situation would have freaked me out, but you seem to be very calm. I bought a bible( because I was tired looking online for verses) and my 3 yr old daughter asks what it was. I told her it was about Jesus and I asked her, Do you like Jesus? "No, I dont like Jesus." I cant say that I was shocked, she really doesnt know anything yet, but when I picked up the bible and told her that I liked Jesus..."Me too! Mommy, I like Jesus too!" I just realized that at this time in her life, Iam her biggest influence and thats scary. I cant imagine when she gets older and has friends...wow, it was that long ago for me...Im not looking forward to that at all.


Yes, you will be a big influence in her life....glad you are trying to help her in the right way.
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#11 lilacday

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Posted 22 August 2010 - 05:10 PM

One of our teens friends came over this weekend and it was a real blessing. Our daughter had decided earlier on in the day that she would pick a recipe (I bought the ingredients for her when i went shopping) and that she would cook the evening meal. She was later going to be going out and a friend wanted to come by earlier and hang out till they went out. Well this young lady ended up helping with the cooking and told us that she often cooks the meals for her family as her mum goes out to work so a meal can be ready when she comes in.

It was great for my kids to see that they are not the only ones who are asked to help round the house (even though the cooking thing was voluntary) and it was good to meet people of other cultures and learn about their lifestyle. Also when the girls were getting ready to go out, the friend commented that her mum 'would never let her go out in that either' as we had a discussion about my daughters clothing and though i disaproved i gave her the choice...... the girls ended up doing a most delicious dish and think the friend really enjoyed spending time with us. Also its good to get to know who your kids hang out with.

I have recently ordered the book 'How to really love your teenager' by Dr Ross Campbell, has anyone else read it? any comments?
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#12 Debp

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Posted 22 August 2010 - 05:27 PM

One of our teens friends came over this weekend and it was a real blessing. Our daughter had decided earlier on in the day that she would pick a recipe (I bought the ingredients for her when i went shopping) and that she would cook the evening meal. She was later going to be going out and a friend wanted to come by earlier and hang out till they went out. Well this young lady ended up helping with the cooking and told us that she often cooks the meals for her family as her mum goes out to work so a meal can be ready when she comes in.

It was great for my kids to see that they are not the only ones who are asked to help round the house (even though the cooking thing was voluntary) and it was good to meet people of other cultures and learn about their lifestyle. Also when the girls were getting ready to go out, the friend commented that her mum 'would never let her go out in that either' as we had a discussion about my daughters clothing and though i disaproved i gave her the choice...... the girls ended up doing a most delicious dish and think the friend really enjoyed spending time with us. Also its good to get to know who your kids hang out with.

I have recently ordered the book 'How to really love your teenager' by Dr Ross Campbell, has anyone else read it? any comments?


Haven't read the book....has anyone else?

One question, of what country (ancestry) is your daughter's friend? I always enjoy other cultures....of course, Los Angeles has about every nationality, I guess God put me in the right place. :)

About your daughter's clothing....I think most young people do not realize why (responsible) parents do not want them to go out looking too seductive or scantily clothed, etc. That usually sends the wrong message to guys and/or makes them more of a target for perverts.
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#13 lilacday

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Posted 23 August 2010 - 12:48 PM

My daughters friend was born here but parents from Jamaica. We too live in a very multicultural area so my kids have freinds from many different countries. The two most unusual combinations are my sons friends, one who is half Polish half Japanese and his other friend half Iraqui and half West Indian!!

What countries do the people come from that live in L.A. Debp, I imagine there must be alot of Hispanics? and do you have any other backround or are you pure L.A.ian!!!
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#14 Debp

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Posted 24 August 2010 - 04:50 PM

My daughters friend was born here but parents from Jamaica. We too live in a very multicultural area so my kids have freinds from many different countries. The two most unusual combinations are my sons friends, one who is half Polish half Japanese and his other friend half Iraqui and half West Indian!!

What countries do the people come from that live in L.A. Debp, I imagine there must be alot of Hispanics? and do you have any other backround or are you pure L.A.ian!!!


Your son's friends are quite a mix!!

Oh, I couldn't begin to tell you all of the countries that are represented in Los Angeles. Mention a country and they are probably here. :) I even know a lady from Libya who lives in my building.

Yes, there are many Hispanics in L.A. But somewhat North of us is a neighborhood of many from Bangladesh, and some from India. And our neighborhood is also adjoining Koreatown.

I sometimes go to a deli and the owners are from Syria. Oh, across the street from them are Japanese people who own a restaurant.

I am American born (raised in Pennsylvania) but my ancestry is Eastern European. My parents were also born here in the USA, as was my grandma that I knew.
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#15 lilacday

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Posted 29 August 2010 - 02:23 PM

Hurray ....my book on loving your teenager arrived a few days ago and have read a few pages..........

Here are some things that really stood out.....

Teenagers are NOT young adults which is how we may view them sometimes, but they are still children (in a growing body) with emotional needs (even though they may not show it or welcome affection)

Spending quality time with teenagers is just as important as spending it with little ones and even more necessary, even though most times we would assume they would rather not hang around with us.....

The thing that struck me the most was, about communication, is, though a teenager may be of little words in the home, and prefer to use short phrases like 'uh huh', 'huh'? 'whatever' or just make funny grunting noises, if you give them time with no pressure (like maybe going for something to eat together or doing the grocery shopping together and having a coffee or a snack afterwards and just being together without any pressing questions about their life) they tend to open up slowly and let some walls come down and become more at ease to share a little of their thoughts or feelings.....


A little breakthrough this week, with my young teen....

they have been challenging from the minuit they were born, energetic and sometimes infuriating is an understatement, but unique and bright is another.

They have recently got involved in an indoor sport which we allow him to go every week, once or twice int the week and we also either drop him off or pick up regularly. This week the place was having a barbeque and invited all the players and a friend. There is an adult freind who sometimes goes along as he is into the sport too but that night could not make the bbq. My son was visibly disapointed so I offered to go along, firstly because i would like to meet the people he plays against (most of them adults so sometimes feel abit uncomfortable about that!) and also to show interest in his interest. I told him in the car on the way that maybe we could stay an hour and then go home, but he really wanted to stay till the end and told me that he didnt really want me hanging around anyway as i would be embaressing him (lovely!!) He was getting quite angry and frustrated (boys and testosterone) and even asked me why i wanted to come. When i explained that it would be nice to meet some of the players and that we as his parents were proud of him and wanted to support him in his sport, he really quietened down and i think it really sunk in. As it turned out it was a lovely evening, there were a few ladies there too who i could chat to and because everyone else was either much older or really young, after we ate, he came over and said, 'mum can we go now!!' (yesss!!)

Also the next day we happened to be alone in the home (others out at friends or working) so asked him what he would like to do, also making suggestions to go out.... eventually he said that he would like to make a cake so make a cake we did, in fact, i sort of let him loose as i had other things to do in the kitchen and just guided him along. Yes, the kitchen became messier than ever, and yes we did end up fighting abit,(of course mums know what things you can substitute in a cake and of course we have tons of experience, blah blah blah) .... but do you know what, he was so proud of that cake, i mean it was gone in about half an hour after we all got our hands on it and he didnt have any left to show dad when he got home so guess what, he made another one today............

However infuriating they can sometimes be and no matter how many mistakes we think we have made, God can turn things around, God gives wisdom and grace and thank God when all seems upside down......a night of sleep does wonders and gives way to a new day and a new beginning......Thankyou Lord
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#16 lilacday

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Posted 18 November 2010 - 06:53 PM

A long time ago, parents were more cautious about their daughters going out than their sons and I remember a few years back a lady at church saying that it was worse now for the boys and i didnt really know what she meant until my boys got to about 12 years old.
Today my youngest came home and for the second time this year said that his freinds had been approached by older boys who stopped them and asked the time (a trick used to find out if the boys had a phone which they could then steal from them) because of my sons first experience he knew what they were up to and all the boys ran to the boys home that lived the nearest where the parent kindly drove my son home. Also my older son had been approached earlier this year and some of his possessions taken. He got very angry of course and though he said he could have easily overtaken the boy, he didnt do anything and thank God there was no physical harm done.

because of the current youth culture, it is always safer for teens to stick together as much as possible, whether they walk home from school or ride the bus, it is always safer in numbers.
it is better not to walk around with alot of gadgets or really expensive gear.

Our prayers for our children are vital, and we will definatly see Gods hand of protection upon them, He is a very present help in times of trouble.
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#17 Debp

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Posted 18 November 2010 - 07:11 PM

A long time ago, parents were more cautious about their daughters going out than their sons and I remember a few years back a lady at church saying that it was worse now for the boys and i didnt really know what she meant until my boys got to about 12 years old.
Today my youngest came home and for the second time this year said that his freinds had been approached by older boys who stopped them and asked the time (a trick used to find out if the boys had a phone which they could then steal from them) because of my sons first experience he knew what they were up to and all the boys ran to the boys home that lived the nearest where the parent kindly drove my son home. Also my older son had been approached earlier this year and some of his possessions taken. He got very angry of course and though he said he could have easily overtaken the boy, he didnt do anything and thank God there was no physical harm done.

because of the current youth culture, it is always safer for teens to stick together as much as possible, whether they walk home from school or ride the bus, it is always safer in numbers.
it is better not to walk around with alot of gadgets or really expensive gear.

Our prayers for our children are vital, and we will definatly see Gods hand of protection upon them, He is a very present help in times of trouble.


Yes, safety in numbers. Besides bullies that steal, there are also those that prey upon innocent children. It's good to tell one's children if anyone starts to approach them like that, to run, scream, etc. I heard from a friend that a little girl and her daughter came across a guy hiding behind a car. The little girl told her daughter not to make any noise because he might shoot them! I told my friend, as noisy as that little girl can be, that was the time to scream and make noise, also to run for home.

Thankfully, the guy just ran off....he might have been only looking to steal from cars.
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#18 lilacday

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Posted 07 July 2011 - 04:28 AM

Sometimes you just have to thank God that He protects, even when your young lady or young man does very silly things.

We learned the other day (they told us themselves) that one of our teens, who was doing a very long shift at work and feeling tired, decided to try some body building substance that is supposed to make you feel more alert and more focused. First of all the person that had it should NEVER have offered it and for the wrong purpose entirely. And not only did they have one cup but because the effects did not happen straight away, they had two cups and very soon after vomited in the staff room. We do not blame the other person entirely as our teen was very willing to take it but being very ignorant of such substances.

When we looked up the stuff on the internet, it stated that you should never take more than 3 cupfuls per 24 hours, 2 cupfuls were taken within 2 hours.

I do thank God for my teens body rejecting that which was not for them to take and pray that they will be much the wiser in the future, we were also able to point out that that is very similar to taking drugs...

Thank God He is there even when we cant be
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#19 Debp

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Posted 07 July 2011 - 05:53 PM

Sometimes you just have to thank God that He protects, even when your young lady or young man does very silly things.

We learned the other day (they told us themselves) that one of our teens, who was doing a very long shift at work and feeling tired, decided to try some body building substance that is supposed to make you feel more alert and more focused. First of all the person that had it should NEVER have offered it and for the wrong purpose entirely. And not only did they have one cup but because the effects did not happen straight away, they had two cups and very soon after vomited in the staff room. We do not blame the other person entirely as our teen was very willing to take it but being very ignorant of such substances.

When we looked up the stuff on the internet, it stated that you should never take more than 3 cupfuls per 24 hours, 2 cupfuls were taken within 2 hours.

I do thank God for my teens body rejecting that which was not for them to take and pray that they will be much the wiser in the future, we were also able to point out that that is very similar to taking drugs...

Thank God He is there even when we cant be


So good his body rejected it!! Thank God!!

On the news here, they are warning about those energy beverages that have an extremely high content of caffeine. A lot of people don't realize that too much caffeine can really cause havoc with a person's nervous system or even their heart. I would think it could even cause panic attacks.

We are supposed to use wisdom about caring for our bodies. I know a lot of young people don't realize that. But as one gets older, you realize it's important to not abuse our bodies....this includes overwork. So many think it's ok to overwork, but that is a form of abuse, too....besides such things as too much alcohol (although I prefer no alcohol as it can ruin people's lives, so why take a chance on that happening).
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#20 Debp

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Posted 14 July 2011 - 06:34 PM

Thank God their body rejected it, now they are having long hours of sleep before starting again, much more natural and much wiser!!!


Sorry to say but most of us have to go through something before we get wiser. ;) We hate to have something happen to kids and try to warn them....some kids do listen, but some it seems have to learn the hard way.
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